Gay Actor Matthew Backer Responds To Homophobic Abuse: “I Am Such A Fagg*t”
FEATURED: Matthew Backer (he/him) | Instagram
TRIGGER WARNING: The themes of this following article may be deemed offensive or hurtful to some readers. It contains discussions around homophobia and discrimination.
UPDATE: Since posting his story, Instagram has removed Matthew’s post because of the use of the word “faggott”. Matt tells DNA: “I found it pointless to write about reclaiming that word and then censor myself when using it when the two guys who yelled it at me didn’t censor themselves.”
On Saturday, February 25, the Sydney Gay And Lesbian Mardi Gras marched down Oxford Street marking the 45th anniversary of the Parade in Sydney. It’s this time of the year when it appears that almost all of Australia comes out to support the LGBTQIA+ community, but this illusion is easily shattered by a select few party-poopers.
Australian actor Matthew Backer was one such person to discover just how fragile this queer acceptance is when he was verbally assaulted by two men while he was walking home from a WorldPride event. What Backer had to say following the encounter reminds us all how important it is to fight for LGBTQIA+ communities, even in places where we have ostensibly achieved equality.
FAGGOT
Matthew Backer posted an Instagram album on Wednesday, March 01 where he described the event he experienced after the Domain Dance Party at Sydney WorldPride. He gave DNA permission to reproduce what he said here:
“Last Friday night, as I was walking home in my sparkly top from the Domain, after a fab concert that opened the Sydney WorldPride festivities, a man, alongside his mate in their parked car, yelled, ‘Such a faggot at me’. Every queer person’s instinct is to lower their head even lower, if that’s possible, and walk faster, whilst trying to ignore such a homophobic slur.
“Yeah nahhh. It’s 2023, baby. I spun around and marched back towards their car, which then sped off as I approached. They sped off like little boys who had been caught doing something naughty. How sad I thought, not for me, but for those men, instead of yelling, ‘You look hot in that top’ or ‘Happy pride!’ they chose to hurl hurt and harm into the world.
“By doing so it’s says so much more about their sad lives than it did about my wonderful one. Yes, it still sucks and hurts a bit but pah-lease, I was called faggot nearly every day at my all-boys Catholic high school in Brisbane in the 90s/00s.
“Two cowardly boys yelling it from within the shadowy safety of their car means almost nothing to me now. But it does mean something. It means we still have work to do. It means there’s still so many reasons why we need World Prides and Mardi Gras, and rainbows and safe schools and clear visibility, and, and, and… It means queer or not, we all spin around and march back, not to cause a scene, but to show we don’t hide any more.
“I hid enough in my 20s. It means we have to make the people who feel comfortable enough to yell such a slur or type such a comment to feel uncomfortable in their choice of doing so by continuing to be even more passionate in our kindness to and educating of them. They should know better. Clearly they still don’t.
“After they sped off I turned around and walked on. An elderly gentleman walking the other way had heard it too and, as he passed, he said in a strong Italian accent complete with delightfully dramatic hand gestures, ‘Don’t you worry about them! Such idiots in this world’. Here, here mate. And thank you, whoever you are.
“That made me smile and then I smiled some more because their slur wasn’t even really an insult, not to me any more. I am such a faggot. Gleefully so! That word used to carry so much power when I was younger. To be called that was once an overwhelming fear of mine. To be called that confirmed out loud to the world, my deepest, darkest secret. Now, what a beautiful word! How deliciously full of protest and progress and pride is that word! How yummy it is to call yourself one like you’re calling yourself a warrior or a fighter or a slayer.
“That’s my word now and now if you call me faggot or poofter or “Backdoor Backer” or “Fudge-packer Backer” or any other high school insult, I simply shrug, smile and say, ‘Yeah, but do you like my sparkly top?’ I saw this Project Claude necklace weeks ago and excitedly bought one for me and one for Kaz my best friend since our first day of high school in 1998, who survived five years of school bullying with me.
“I was finally going to reclaim that word by wearing it over Mardi Gras weekend for myself and for Kaz and for every other faggot and queer person who has grown to love and be proud of their fierce fagginess and queerness.
“But after Friday night, I decided not to wear it for us. I chose to wear it for those two anonymous guys in their car. I wear it for every queerphobic bully out there who thinks dulling someone’s light will make theirs shine brighter. I hope those two guys who think I’m, ‘Such a faggot’ chuck on a sparkly top of their own one day soon and join us for the festivities and have such a fabulous time. Maybe that’s what they’re so scared of that.
“We’re all scared of something, and once you shine a light on whatever that thing is, it just isn’t as scary anymore. We shine brightest when we champion others to shine. Which is why Mardi Gras and Sydney WorldPride has so far been so bright, brilliant and important. Thousands of people, queer and not (our Prime Minister, Albo, among them) coming together to remind an entire diverse community of humans that the majority of us want each and everyone of them to shine.
“So shine on faggots and faggot-adjacents. We still have work to do. I’m aware being called faggot by two rando guys ranks lower on the ladder of the horrific acts of abuse that hit members of the LGBTQIA+ family around our world every day.
“The hope I take from last weekend is that the work we’ve all been doing for so many decades to combat these violent acts of harassment, discrimination and abuse is well and truly WERKING. If you follow the link in my Insta bio, you’ll find some superb queer organisations that are doing exceedingly needed WERK and would love your support. Donate what you can and then chuck on your sparkly top and safely strut down whatever street you’re strutting down to whatever queer gathering you’re heading to and have fun. Happy Mardi Gras and WorldPride! Love Matt x.”
To find the Faggot necklace worn by Matt Backer during Mardi Gras and WorldPride, visit Project Claude’s website here!
Matt Backer supports a handful of charities for LGBTQIA+ individuals. If you wish to donate or find information visit:
Transcend Australia
Web: transcend.org.au/donate/
Black Rainbow
Web: blackrainbow.org.au
Equality Australia
Web: equalityaustralia.raisely.com
MINUS18
Web: minus18.org.au
Pride Foundation Australia
Web: pridefoundation.org.au
Bobby Goldsmith Foundation
Web: bgf.org.au
If you’re looking for any support resources, visit:
Headspace
Web: headspace.org.au
Kids Helpline
Ph: 1800 551 800
Black Dog Institute
Web: blackdoginstitute.org.au
QLife
Ph: 1800 184 527
Web chat: qlife.org.au
