Relationships: When The Threads Of Connection Are Replaced By Wires
It takes more than likes and swipes to build a relationship, explains Vinko Anthony.
Beau Brummell Introductions #partnership
Think of every moment you share with someone as a string that ties you to them. You and your sibling, after knowing each other all your lives, have formed countless strings, from inside jokes to holiday memories, to shared moments of grief. With each new string, you form a bond, one that gets harder and harder to cut. These small moments build up to create strong cords, so strong they are often unbreakable.
This is also what happens with the romantic connections you make, though we all know that these types of connections are often harder to find.
What happens when we, as a society, forego actual connections? What happens when we date by swiping on an app or show our affection with the tap of a thumb instead of by holding hands? What happens to romance, or connection in general, when we rely on technology to form our bonds?
Recent HILDA data has shown that for the first time ever, loneliness is higher in young people aged 15 to 24 than in those over the age of 65. With social media and smartphones, young people have more access to each other than ever before, yet they are only getting lonelier. How can that be possible when we can connect to practically anyone in the world within a matter of seconds?
When the threads that connect us are replaced by wires – or perhaps Wi-Fi signals – something strange happens. It creates the illusion of connection, an airbrushed version of what it means to be close to someone.
You may see an Instagram influencer every day, and you might even like every one of their posts, but that “connection” ultimately isn’t a real one. Have you ever actually been in the same room as them? Do you know about all the things they don’t share on social media? You have no idea what they look like first thing in the morning before they do their hair or add their filters.
What are the effects of that, of replacing real, genuine, in-person experiences with those that only exist through screens? In some ways, building these false connections is like eating plastic food. You feel hungry for connection so you eat and eat. Your stomach may be full but your meal hasn’t satiated you or given you nutrients. That fake food might have been coated in some sort of artificial flavouring, but it doesn’t taste like the real thing. Now, that plasticity you’ve consumed – all those connections you’ve made through a screen – has made you full and kept you hungry. So, you keep eating, because it almost tastes authentic, but you’ve just become lonelier and more bloated. It’s a terrible combination and a vicious cycle.
True connections are our bread and butter (the non-plastic kind) at Beau Brummell Introductions. While algorithms and well-made apps have their places, we know that real relationships are not about math or technology. Human beings and the cords that tie us together are chaotic. They’re compelling and annoying, beautiful and ugly, and gloriously flawed. We are walking contradictions and can’t be summed up with a math problem or algorithm. If finding love was as simple as programming a robot or artificial intelligence to fit your perfect image, then love wouldn’t be something worth pursuing. After all, real connections take time and require real moments to form.
That’s why, when we match people, we do so by getting to know them. We are humans who know love, so we know what it takes for a relationship to work. We know that connections are built through communication, so you communicate with us, not a chatbot or formula.
We’re messy and imperfect, sure. But so are relationships. Because a relationship with a true, strong connection can withstand all the things trying to sever it.
