They May Be The Old Gays, But They Aren’t Old Hat – Showing Us How Good The Golden Years Can Be
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Depending on your algorithm, it’s likely you’ve stumbled across the Old Gays on TikTok. These silver daddies consist of four refined gentleman who have managed to accrue more than 11 million followers by recreating viral trends, playing fun games with one another and showing us that there’s still so much life to be enjoyed when you’re a golden gay.
Age is just a number, and being fabulous is forever
The four men who make up this iconic group are Robert (80-years-old), Mick (67), Jessay (70) and Bill (79). They all live within a few miles of one another in Palm Springs where almost 50% of the population identify as LGBTQIA+.
Their fame comes from their viral videos together where they dance to finely-edited videos, discuss their past lovers and scandalous stories and connect with their audience about issues that may concern them about ageing.
“The culture of youth is everything,” says Mick to The Guardian. “Once you turn 40, unless you’re married and with a big career, you’re becoming invisible. It’s the same in many places across the world: mainstream culture emphasises that. We exist to put the lie to that: to spread our energy. Showing the world how life can be, and bringing hope – I think – to people in places where that might not seem possible, whether because of age or sexuality.”
The fellas have released a joint book called The Old Gays Guide to the Good Life. The pages contain a mix of anecdotes and self-help which round out these four men the internet has come to love. Their whole brand revolves around authenticity and shedding the layers of shame that we all accrue as we age. As The Guardian writer Michael Segalov puts it: As their audience has grown, their outfits have shrunk!
In their success, each member feels a growing appreciation for how far the culture has come. Ageism still persists, but they fight that online with each new video. “We feel free to be ourselves, entirely. For some younger people we’re role models that they haven’t had in their lives: substitute parents, grandparents, guncles,” says Robert. “And for people of our generation, we’re visible, when so many are unseen. Whatever your sexuality, older people can watch our videos and see a ray of hope and optimism. Confirmation that you can get up, out and enjoy life, not spend every hour in front of a TV.”
Talking about their scantily-clad outfit reveals, Jessay and Bob both had trouble at first releasing the fear that people wouldn’t like what they saw. “I didn’t get why people wanted to see us like that,” says Jessay. “I’m not sure I do now. But because of the rest of these guys, I’m more confident. I shut my mouth, get on with it and have a blast.”
Bob chimes in saying: “I’m surprised by myself sometimes. I don’t think all of us felt so at home in our older bodies before. Now, with all the love we get, we feel so free.”
These lovable Old Gays have more than just confidence and humour to offer. Their book contains heavy, emotional, memoir-style stories about each of their lives. They have dedicated The Old Gays Guide to the Good Life to those lost to HIV and hope that by surviving and thriving, they can honour the struggle that LGBTQIA+ activists have undergone.
“We’re what’s left of a generation who succumbed to a very nasty disease. I’m one of the lucky ones and feel I owe it to people who aren’t here to not only tell my story, but to show I can be old, gay, happy and content,” says Mick, who is HIV+.
“People see us on their screens, but now they know our challenges; our history. If people can see us living our best lives, thriving, while knowing what we’ve each lived through? Hopefully that can give people some inspiration to get through their own crises in life. To remember the good times don’t last forever, yes, but the bad times don’t either.”
