We chanced across an old video from Cut where they pair up straight male strangers and have them kiss. For each straight man, it’s their first time kissing another man.
Many straight women report that they’ve kissed their female friends but the same phenomenon can’t be said for straight men; this video reminded us of this disparity, and we thought it makes for a good opportunity to discuss.
Kiss And Tell: Looking At Kissing Through The Lens Of Cultural And Gendered Context
Kissing is something that many cultures around the world look at as a form of intimacy, but it doesn’t always imply sexual or romantic subtexts. We’re probably all familiar with the European double kiss on the cheek that can mean “hello” or “farewell”.
When it comes to two women kissing, there are connotations that exist beyond sexual or romantic. The same can’t always be said about two men kissing. In Cut’s video, they interview the men and ask them why they’ve never kissed a man before.
One gentleman named Aiden says: “Where my parents are from, it’s kind of frowned upon. My dad’s from Turkey and my mum’s from Iran. At least in the case of Iran – not the friendliest place for people who aren’t straight.”
A perfectly reasonable answer from Aiden; but it implies that the only form of kissing two men can participate in his homosexual. We looked outward to try and find more examples of non-romantic kissing between men. One Reddit user asked in a now-deleted thread posted in September: “Do you kiss your guy friends (as a guy) when drunk?” Comments from men say:
“I kiss my homies on the forehead.”
“Yeah… no. That is definitely not a thing that I do. I’m pretty sure none of my guy friends would appreciate it if I tried. To be fair, I don’t kiss my lady friends when I’m drunk, either. Kissing is for my wife and kids only.”
“no, I’d hate a friend who did that. boundaries my man.”
Interestingly, we found two comments from women in this thread that say:
“From this woman’s perspective, that’s absolutely adorable.”
“As another woman, I agree. I want to normalize men giving each other friendly drunk kisses. It sounds cute af.”
Back to the Cut video, after the pairs of men kissed, they reported a general sense of calm. Some reported it was underwhelming, others that it was surprising how similar it felt to kissing women. One of the participants even said his partner tasted “sweet”.
The take-away is that kissing that isn’t sexual or romantic isn’t scary. In fact, it doesn’t even need to imply intimacy as these strangers did it and reported no problems. Normalising straight men being more affectionate with one another is a very good thing. It can help to break down toxic standards of heterosexuality and destigmatise actions many men believe to be queer.
So, to wrap up our article: encourage your straight friends to kiss their homies. Why not?