“I am the only man here not wearing makeup.” This thought entered my mind about an hour into an event I attended recently.
It was a small space, with shirtless waiters serving drinks and nibbles, but big enough to have its own DJ. I knew it would be a fashiony crowd, so I made an effort to dress up and trim the beard etc. I thought I looked… well, as good as it gets for me!
But as I mingled and chatted, I started to notice that everyone’s skin was smooth and flawless – a bit too smooth and flawless! Then, once I’d noticed one man wearing makeup, I noticed it on another, and then on more, and then on a lot! And then I started to think, “Oh no! Do I look like a red, blotchy, spotty, shiny… ancient mess?” Why am I not on the makeup bandwagon yet?
Since then, I’ve been on the lookout and, yes, men wearing makeup is a definite thing. It’s easy to spot on some boys; they’re experimenting very obviously with colourful eye shadows, lip glosses, shading and sculpting of the nose and cheeks. And they want it to be seen.
But other men do it more subtly, just to cover blemishes and hide tired eyes. They want to look good, but they don’t really want you to notice how.
When I asked around, I found that many more of my male friends are dipping into the powders and paints than I expected – and have been for longer than I knew! One friend very casually admitted, “I’ve been doing it for 20 years… Haven’t you? I can’t believe you haven’t been doing it!”
I wonder if I’d recognise him without makeup? I probably haven’t seen his “real face” for 20 years.
I’m not entirely new to makeup. As a student actor, I wore a kind of stage powder foundation and eyeliner. I never bothered taking them off after performances, so I ended up with black eyeliner running down my face – but it was a look that suited the New Romantic, Post-Punk, Gothic times. Plus, I was a “student actor” so everyone forgave me for looking a bit shit!
Last summer I bought a tinted sunscreen. I thought it’d make me look less pasty white. But I have a mostly white beard and the tinted sunscreen on my face turned my beard yellow. Not Lego block yellow, but shortbread biscuit yellow.
Also, last Christmas, I went to a fancy dress party where the theme was Stage And Screen. My genius idea was to go as Julie Andrews from Victor Victoria – a movie about a stage actress who pretends to be a man so she can become a successful female impersonator. I thought, I’ve got this! I am a man, all I have to do is look like a woman pretending to look like a man – which I already am. Right? What could go wrong?
I hired a professional makeup artist. I showed her a picture of Julie Andrews in the film. She had never heard of Julie Andrews or the film. She went to work. Now, I wasn’t looking in the mirror as she did it, but I felt confident that when I eventually saw her work, I’d look like Julie Andrews trying to look like a man.
I did not.
I can’t tell you exactly what I saw when I looked in the mirror, but I did a pretty darn good job of disguising my disappointment and humiliation! At the party, no one guessed I was Julie Andrews in Victor Victoria, but a lot of people suggested Moira Rose from Schitt’s Creek when she made The Crows Have Eyes 3: The Crowening. I am not sharing the photos.
This month, it’s our Next Big Thing issue, and one trend we’re covering is men and makeup. It’s already huge. Globally, men are spending billions on makeup and the market is growing exponentially. To find out what else we can expect to see more of in 2024, check out our Next Big Thing stories, especially our Next Big Thing In Underwear pages.
We have a great feature from Travis de Jonk on the resurrection of the infamous Inquisition fetish party, interviews with Rhys Nicholson, Todd Lasance, Nathan Borg and Emeli Sande, 16 pages of super sizzling underwear, Graeme and Hendri’s Best Books Of 2023, and Chaz Licciardello has The Last Word.
Enjoy,
Andrew Creagh, Founding Editor
Email your feedback to [email protected]
________________________________________________________________________
