Ex-NRL Enforcer Kane Evans Comes Out As Gay In A Difficult-To-Watch Video Interview
Kane Evans has come out as gay, becoming the first men’s professional rugby league player to do so since Ian Roberts more than three decades ago. The former Roosters, Eels and Warriors prop told his story on Channel Nine’s 100% Footy on Monday night, and it is not an easy watch. Across a career of 131 NRL games, one of the competition’s most feared forwards was hiding who he was, and it nearly killed him.
The first to come out since Ian Roberts
Evans, 34, is the first man to come out from rugby league’s top tier since Ian Roberts did, back in 1995, while Roberts was still playing. He is not the only out figure the game has produced, though.
Casey Conway, a Barada man who came through the Sydney Roosters’ system, spoke publicly about being gay in a 2015 SBS interview, having played in the lower grades rather than first grade. Conway went on to model (he was featured in DNA #195) and to advocate for young Indigenous Australians. What makes Evans’s story hit so hard is that he reached the top of the sport while carrying all of this alone.
Living in denial since he was 15
Evans says he hid his sexuality from the age of 15, and the secrecy pushed him into addiction, homelessness and suicidal thoughts.
“I had three goals in life,” he told 100% Footy. “To play NRL, to buy my parents a house, and then I wanted to top myself, because I was living in denial.”
He knew the truth long before he said it. “I know that I’m gay, but I went down every other avenue to build up these walls, to be someone, to escape who I am.”
The interview is hard to watch because he does not dress any of it up. “I still can’t believe that I’m here talking to you,” he told James Bracey. “This is definitely my worst nightmare.” He describes a long fight with himself. “I’ve been fighting a war within since I was about 15 years old, and it’s not sustainable.”
At his lowest, he says he was “sleeping in parks, doing drugs, trying to ultimately pass away so I didn’t have to come to this.” The shift came in rehab, after more than four months of sobriety.
“I started questioning, maybe death isn’t the plan for me yet. Maybe I do deserve to go and get help.”
The blackmail and shame he carried
Part of what kept him quiet was other people. “Even over the years when I’ve tried to go down that path, I’ve had people blackmail me,” Evans said. “I’ve had people try to throw me under the bus, I’ve had people try to deflect their problems by trying to out me.
And it just built up a lot of shame, and fear and guilt within myself.” Saying it out loud changed that. “Now I’ve spoken about it, I’ve shattered all those chains. They’ve lost their power. I feel peace within, and I feel like a weight has lifted off my shoulders.”
Why speaking out set him free
What comes through most is relief. “I’ve carried this around my whole life,” Evans said. “I’m here today to show people that you don’t have to live like that. Even now I feel a bit more free, just by saying it out loud.” At DNA, we know how much one honest voice can mean to someone who thinks they’re the only one. Have a watch below. It is hard, but it matters.
If anything in Evans’s story lands close to home, please consider contacting one of these free services available within Australia.
Lifeline Australia offers 24/7 crisis support via phone on 13 11 14 or through web chat services available at Lifeline.org.au.
Beyond Blue provides support via phone at 1300 22 4636 and also offers web chat options through their website, Beyondblue.org.au.
QLife offers dedicated LGBTQIA+ support services. You can reach them by phone on 1800 184 527 or find web chat details at qlife.org.au.
You can also search “Queer and LGBTQI+ community support services in Australia” at www.ABC.net.au for additional local resources.
In the USA…
The Trevor Project provides help internationally via their website TheTrevorProject.org/get-help/.
