Your butt and your sexual identity may need a little exercising, says Dr Zac.
Have you always been a top? Maybe you’ve bottomed a handful of times and not enjoyed it? Perhaps a couple of bad experiences have put you off altogether? If you only want to top, you may be depriving yourself and, potentially, your partner of some amazing sex.
A set of recent sex data reveals that increasing numbers of straight guys are into being anally penetrated by their female partners using sex toys. In the straight world it’s called “pegging” and it was identified as “the hottest sex trend in 2016” by sexologist Tracey Cox. From her research, Cox concluded that, far from being a fad, pegging is “fast becoming something most couples try”.
Some straight men still struggle with internalised homophobia when it comes to trying anal sex, and the same can be said for “total tops” in the gay world, too, with some fearing that being “submissive” as a bottom is a challenge to their status as “masc”.
“Enjoying something up your bum does not make you more feminine; it does not define your masculinity or what it means to ‘be a man’.”
Exploring your body and finding out what really gets you off isn’t a reflection of your overall identity. Enjoying something up your bum does not make you more feminine. Anal sex does not define your masculinity or what it means to “be a man”. Humans are built for pleasure and we can separate pleasure from our sexual identities. And, hey, if straight guys are into it, you can have a shot, too!
If you are going to put something up your bottom – a finger, a dick or a sex toy – it’s important to be prepared and take things slow. You may have seen porn in which the top roughly and quickly slides inside his partner. In real life, it’s not that straightforward or, for most people, that easy. Allowing the muscles of the anus to relax and expand can take a little time so don’t feel you need to rush it and, if it feels painful, stop… for the moment, and then gently and slowly retry. Just like warming up before exercise can help you to prevent injury and create greater mobility, it’s the same for your anus.
To read this story in full go to DNA #217.